When I was 16 years old I was sitting in my friend’s pool and all of a sudden I really had to take a shit so I tried to get on my bicycle. Got out of the pool, got on my bicycle and really had to go home and and then my friend’s dad wouldn’t let me bike home because it was dark out so I was like well fuck I went on my bike I have literally like I had a little fart that was poop and then my friend was like no you can’t bike home. And so he’s like, well fuck. And so and he’s like, you have to get in our car now in our van put your bike in the van and I got in the van and I knew that something was wrong. and so. We’re sitting in the closed window van driving 5 minutes home and my friend came with us and he was like wow man, I think Wendy our dog like, I think someone stepped in one of her shits. It really smells like shit in here. And I knew it was me. But I let it be and I was like yeah, maybe I stepped in dog shit, no problem and then we got home and I had to like get out of the car and like move my towel around so that like if I had a shit stain on the back like at least it was in my front when I walked to my doorstep and yeah. I shat myself. So uh, really solid and I blamed it on Wendy. Okay, goodbye.

February 10, 2020